[ She doesn't blame him for denying it. If the shoe was on the other foot, she'd be doing the same. The thought of eating someone sounds beyond insane and if she didn't it with her own two eyes, Yoimiya would have thought she was the crazy one for even saying it out loud. Through her shaking, she manages to look over at him, seeing him shaken up and confused tugs at her heart strings. Likewise, she's not sure if he needs space or a hug to comfort him in this awful time.
Poor Tartaglia... she almost wishes she just kept her mouth shut. ]
... I know. I know you would never eat someone. I think the nightmares made you do it.
[ It's not much for comfort but she needs to convey her belief in him. Despite him being a Harbinger, Yoimiya knows Tartaglia would never kill an innocent, defenseless person. ]
I'm sorry... I wish I could tell you it's not true but, I saw it. I saw the whole thing. Your body shifted, I saw you use your claw-like hands to snatch him. And your face... [ That was easily the most horrifying part. ] you developed some kind of... um, beak and with that, you plunged it into his chest and...
It's a fact he can't deny. He'd seen what happened to some of the other Augmented within their own nightmares. Some of them woke up, just like he did, but really weren't themselves. But he hadn't heard of anyone killing or eating anyone, not yet. Not until now.
The color slowly drains from his face as she talks. He snatched him in his shifted form, did something with his beak and now he's gone. Eaten fresh right off the street, and something in his stomach lurches when he realizes that there's an entire human being in his own stomach.
Tartaglia's hand comes up to his face, feeling sicker than he ever has in his entire life, turning and voluntarily letting himself throw up everything in his stomach. He can't even look at what comes out, his eyes closed just so he doesn't have to look at it. After a moment, he coughs a few last times, turning away from his mess and waving his hand as he summons the strength just to use the powers of his vision to wash it away, cleansing the area of the smell just so he can breathe.
He has to take a moment, his hand on his chest as he deals with this reality.]
We need to go. I'm going to clean that blood splatter up and we're leaving. Okay?
[ The sounds of poor Tartaglia vomitting causes her to close her eyes and look away. She had been expecting it, if watching him eat someone was enough to make her hurl, she can't imagine how dreadfully sick to his stomach he must be feeling. Yoimiya swiftly turns her body away, not wanting to see what remains of that poor man mixed inside that mess. She winces at his cough, her mind imagines that he's probably hacking up the last of that unfortunate victim. Immediately, she covers her nose to block out the smell.
Water hitting the pavement is the first bit of respite she's had since her encounter with Tartaglia. Taking this as a sign it's safe to look, Yoimiya shifts her body to peer at him, thankful that he's washed away the residue with his powers. Never before has she been grateful to be in contact with someone blessed with a Hydro vision. ]
Y-yeah... we need to get out here.
[ At first it seems possible, but slowly, she manages to get off the ground, her legs still trembling. Despite it all, Tartaglia is the one going through it the most, he physically killed and ate someone, all she did was watch. She can't even begin to imagine the horror and disgust he's going through right now. Seeing him with his hand on his chest is like a knife being plunged into her, she feels so bad for him. ]
Please... if there's anything I can do to help, I'm here. You didn't mean for this to happen.
Edited (changed something bc it sounds repetitive sobs) 2025-05-14 22:43 (UTC)
[It takes a lot for him to be able to pick himself up off of the ground. His legs feel weak, his stomach is still wretching despite having thrown up everything in it, and all he wants to do is wake up from this second nightmare he's living. Battle was his love, but never, ever, would it amount to what Yoimiya told him he just did. It almost feels surreal, like his head is cloudy and the world around him is fake, and yet when he allows himself a single thought about what happened, he feels nauseous all over again.
Tartaglia stumbles forward once, before regaining his balance and using his Vision to wash the blood away, letting it run down the side of it into a gutter, just as he'd done with his own vomit. There wouldn't be anything in the whole world that could wash this vile taste out of his mouth, but now that he's finished, he gestures to Yoimiya to walk with him home as fast as their legs could carry them.]
...Thank you. To be honest, I really don't know what to do...
[All he knows is that he needs to leave, get away from the scene of the crime. Keeping his eyes forward, he quickly takes off down the alley, with Yoimiya in tow.]
Are you alright?
[He asks, knowing she probably isn't- but still, it's almost as bad having to watch it happen as it is doing the deed itself.]
[ As the last of the blood and... Tartaglia's mess flushes down the gutter, Yoimiya can't help but shudder at what has to be the most gruesome scene she's witnessed. Sure, she's witnessed people die, it's not her first rodeo experiencing death, but not like this. He definitely doesn't have to tell her twice. Yoimiya wastes no time trotting by his side. Despite that her stomach feels like it's twisted up into knots, she still has it in her to pick up the pace so they can get the heck out of here. She'll let adrenaline take hold of her and pass out on a bed once they're home free.
"To be honest, I really don't know what to do..." Can't blame him on that one. What can you do after killing and eating someone? It's impressive he hasn't had a full-blown breakdown yet. She looks to the ground with guilt eating away at her heart, deeply wishing there was more she could do for him. She's quiet for a few minutes until he asks her a question that... well, should have an obvious answer but she appreciates the sentiment nonetheless. ]
... Not really, but if I were a gambling person, I'd bet all the mora I have back home that you're doing worse.
[ There's no way anyone would be even remotely okay after having a whole person in your stomach. And for that, the guilt rooted deep inside her heart begins to twist, digging at her concious in a visceral way that makes her wonder if she could have done anything to prevent this. ]
I'm sorry, Tartaglia. I really don't think this is your fault. I should have done more to stop it...
[He can't even grin ruefully at her comment, with the revelation so fresh in his mind. Whether or not he's doing worse really is up for debate, with him having no memory whatsoever of the event. Tartaglia won't try to ruminate too much on it for the moment, his pace quickening to get away from the scene of the crime.
But what really puts a dagger through his heart is to hear Yoimiya blame herself for what happened. His eyebrows droop as his gaze falls over to her, not wanting her to feel any sort of guilt for what happened. It may not be his fault, but it's not hers either, and the last thing he wants is this.]
It's not your fault, [he states simply,] so don't blame yourself for my actions. Had you gotten involved, there's a chance that you would of ended up having to fight me in that state...and that's not something I would suggest many try to do.
[Childe isn't sure how he would react if his consciousness wasn't in control, but based off of what he was just told he did, there's no doubt he'd attack her. He doesn't know a whole lot about bugs, but he does know that mantises are predators in their own right. What if he hurt her, or worse, killed her too?]
I was the one who wasn't strong enough to regain control. I got trapped in that nightmare, and never knew what was happening in the real world. To think we could lose control so easily...
[ With a heavy heart, Yoimiya casts her eyes down at the ground. Normally, it'd be easy for her to find something positive about any situation, but in this case, even someone as bright and cheery as her is having trouble finding an upside to this. Much to her heartache, Tartaglia is right; there's no telling what might have happened if she had stepped in to save that man. Sure, she can fight. Naganohara Yoimiya is not a pushover, but going up against a Fatui Harbinger is a whole new endeavour, let alone a feral Harbinger plagued by nightmares. One wrong move and she might have been his next target.
...
It's probably best not to ponder the outcome. She tries to banish the thought from her mind. Especially since poor Tartaglia is still beating himself over it. She lifts her eyes from the ground, flickering her gaze right back at him. Seeing the man who is usually so confident be so down on himself hurts her heart feels like crumbling into dust.. ]
Hey...
[ Despite being shaken up, Yoimiya makes a move to step closer to his side, giving him a gentle nudge on the arm. It's not much, and she can't imagine he'll be okay for a long time, but she hopes he'll feel a little better knowing she isn't afraid of getting close to him. ]
Don't beat yourself too much over it, okay? We were thrust into a strange world unlike Teyvat. We've only been here a little over a month. If anyone expected you to have control in while being trapped inside a nightmare, they'd be the most unreasonable person on the planet.
[It's hard to keep his mind blank as they walk, but he can't help but return to the fact that he wasn't able to control himself. The Natural Soul inside of him took over, leaving himself stranded and unable to break free to keep himself from doing something so terrible. Childe knows that he won't let that stop him, that he'll redouble his efforts to make sure his mind is always the one in the forefront.
But when he thinks on it further, those instincts of his Natural Soul influence his conscious mind already. What will happen if they meld together into one? There's so much to consider, but he needs to focus at least on never falling to those dark dreams again, somehow...
The nudge to his arm brings him out of that thought, staring down silently at her. Yoimiya isn't wrong, but he's used to being able to master things quickly. To have such a huge setback to all his work so far is a little deflating, but he nods nonetheless anyway.]
Yeah, it was certainly something unforeseen on my part. Never could I of imagined that we were susceptible to a sudden sleep into a realm of nightmares as our Natural Souls ran amok in our bodies. I'd seen a few already succumb to it, but I had no idea how to combat it. And none were as violent as...
[His sentence cuts off, sighing and refusing to finish that thought.]
Anyway, surely the authorities and Patho-Gen will be looking for the one responsible for that man's disappearance. What are you planning to do? You were witness to it, after all.
... It's a good thing he didn't finish that thought. She's seen how the Katalyth affects people and has even fallen victim to the nightmares as well. However, even with all the terrible visions plaguing her dreams, all of it pales in comparison to what happened with Tartaglia. Watching someone eat another individual is a whole new level of nightmarish, one she wouldn't wish on anyone.
For now, it's best not to think about it too much. Not just for her sake but for Tartaglia as well. As Yoimiya tries to flood her mind with happy thoughts, Tartaglia poses a question that honestly, never dawned on her. The whole scene was such a shock and the thought of reporting him to the authorities hadn't occurred to her. It's... a lot to take in. There's a brief moment of silence between them but it's not long until she speaks up. ]
I won't tell a soul. You have my word on that.
[ Her answer is stalwart, unbreakable, and unwilling to bend to anyone. Like the pyro vision that resonates with her soul, Yoimiya's eyes burn with an everlasting flame that refuses to die. She's not sure if this is what Tartaglia wants but even so, she won't be the one snitching on him. Sure, this might get her in trouble too but she's never been above breaking the law if it means protecting someone. ]
You're my friend and I'm not gonna rat you out for something out of your control. This never would have happened if the Patho-Gen hadn't summoned us here. I understand the authorities and Patho-Gen want what's best for the people of this world but... I also know I shouldn't fully trust them considering they dragged us here against our will. There's no telling what they're capable of and I can't bear to think about what they might do to you.
[When she declares she'll keep his secret, his eyebrows raise slightly in surprise.
He expected her to go to the authorities. Most people, he assumes, would probably turn him in if he didn't go himself. Understandably, it wouldn't sit well with others to see that someone got eaten right in front of them. But, he supposes, the fact that she's stuck to his side despite seeing that unspeakable horror speaks volumes about Yoimiya's values. Tartaglia has to almost laugh at himself for thinking she'd turn him in, caught up in his own act of terror to realize that she would stay loyal to him in this terrible time.
In fact, he does manage the smallest smile and a tiny laugh from it, his eyes softening for a moment.]
A fact we can never forget. Knowing that one of their experiments lost control and hurt a citizen of Karteria would look bad on them. And I have no idea what they'd do to me either...it would be safer just to kill me and ensure it never happens again.
[At least, that's what the Fatui would do. So he'll assume the worst unless they prove otherwise.]
...Thanks, Yoimiya.
[Letting a heavy sigh out, at least he can be relieved that he won't get ratted out.]
[ The realization that Tartaglia might actually get killed for losing control hits her like a truck. It's... not something she wants to think about but the possibility is very real and very scary. She swallows thickly. A sense of unease whelms her, the thought of losing him hurts like no other, and for a moment, she casts her glance to the ground, trying to quell the gnarled mess in her heart. His gratitude causes her to lift her gaze back to him. Though she's unable to be fully rid of her worries, the sight of that faint smile solidifies her decision.
She'll stand by Tartaglia's side through thick and thin. Till her dying breath, she'll make sure no one finds out about what happened. ]
You don't owe me anything, silly. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't have your back?
[ None of this was his fault and she'll firmly remain in that camp no matter what. Yoimiya has never been one to turn her back on her friends and in this trying time, Tartaglia is going to need all the support he can get. She raises her hand, brings it behind him, and gently runs her fingers up and down his back to soothe any lingering worries he might have. ]
Besides, I have a feeling you wouldn't let harm come my way either. And if it's any consolation, even when you lost control, you didn't try to attack me.
[That bright demeanor helps him deal with this, happy and grateful to have at least someone on his side. It helps him focus on her and not on the contents of his stomach, appreciating the soothing touch of her fingers along his back, calming him like he were a anxious child in need of some comfort after a horrific nightmare.]
I'm glad to hear that, [he says with a sigh of relief.] I wouldn't of forgiven myself if any harm had come to you.
[Attacking his friends like that, it's not something he would do. He'd love to spar against them any time of the week, but to viciously go after them like they were his next meal...]
Perhaps I recognized you, even in that state of mind? What happened after I...
[Not going to finish that sentence again. Doing his best not to think on it too much right now.]
[ Oh, poor Tartaglia... she really doesn't want to think about what might have happened if he was past the point of no control. The guilt in his voice is palpable, even if he didn't actually harm her, she can tell he's wracked with pain just pondering on the possibility. She runs her hand down his back one last time before taking his hand and brushing her thumb over his knuckles. ]
Well um, I'm not even sure I can put what happened afterwards into words.
[ Thinking back on the aftermath, he suddenly recognized her and performed a strange move. Was it a dance? Some kind of sidestep? ]
You started moving strangely. It was like... a dance? You were swaying from side to side like you were trying to get my attention. Then you let out a familiar scent...
[ a beat. Oh. Ooooooh. Everything is starting to click. Oh Archons, should she even tell him? ]
[His eyes flick downwards to his hand in hers, suddenly feeling more aware of the physical touch they're sharing right now, but not bringing any attention to it. Maybe it's just something she does, he really wouldn't know, and it's not worth saying anything about. Instead, he focuses on what she's telling him, and it confuses him.
Tartaglia himself likes to dance, he knows how and he's pretty good at it. But what she describes makes no sense, including letting out a scent. He can't smell his own pheromones, let alone realize when he's secreting them when his more feral side presents itself. So to hear that he's done it twice baffles him.]
I...what? A scent? Sorry Yoimiya, but I don't really use cologne unless it's a special occasion.
[Man has no idea that bugs do this, or how bugs and pheromones work at all.]
Are you trying to say that...?
[Was his bug self trying to hit on her? Childe goes deathly silent once he realizes that that's probably what was happening. His Natural Soul recognized the female he'd tried mating with previously and did its best to do it again before it got ruined...]
[ If it wasn't for the absurdity of the situation, she might have laughed at his response. Cologne... if only it were that simple. Yoimiya momentarily averts her gaze away from him, questioning if telling him is the right thing to do. Killing and eating a man then turning around to "entice" her sounds ludicrous. But, he asked and she's already told him bits and pieces, he might as well know. ]
Yeah... that's correct. It was like back at the study when we nearly...
[ She pauses, feeling like she doesn't need to finish the rest of the sentence. ]
[It almost feels like it's not real. How do you go from horribly murdering someone and eating them to trying to attract a mate? Tartaglia's not really sure if he should die of embarrassment, but one thing's for sure is that he's very viscerally aware of her hand holding his now, even if it's simply to comfort.
The bonding experience of imprinting isn't even saving him from feeling shame in his actions. It was weird the first time at the study, but to know that he did it again is just...strange? Vulgar? He can't decide.]
Well, this is a little awkward, isn't it...
[What do you even say to that? Sorry? Why is his feral self like this? Maybe it's time to do a little digging on his shifted form and what a mantis does, or something.]
That's...inappropriate of me, the last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable. Yoimiya, please accept my apology...
[The apologetic look he gives her is unmistakable. He feels bad about it, he was raised better than that. It's clear he finds it gross that he acted like that even if he wasn't the one in control, and can't believe he managed to do not one, but two things that are absolutely repulsive.]
[ Awkward hits the nail on the head. Yoimiya almost wishes she didn't tell Ajax because she feels so bad for him. If the positions were reversed, she'd want to bury her head into a hole and die of embarrassment.
This shifting thing is getting complicated very fast. Tartaglia isn't the only one with a sudden change in mood. Despite that she watched a man literally get eaten alive, she still would have been willing to drop everything to mate with him, and that thought alone is enough to terrify her. She doesn't want to think about what might happen if she truly loses control of herself and her desires. ]
Hey, like I said, there's no need for you to apologize. This really isn't your fault, Tartalgia. I know you're normally not like this.
[ Her small hand gives him a gentle squeeze in a bid for reassurance. It breaks her heart to see him feel terrible over an issue that he can't control, she truly doesn't believe any of this to be his fault at all. ]
Besides, it wasn't just you. Even after... [ a beat ] what happened, I still felt that desire to... [ Archons, help. She's lost count at the number of pauses. ] well, y'know. You're not making me uncomfortable at all. Something about your scent just keeps pulling me toward you. So, I'm sorry as well.
[His lips still thin at the thought of being absolutely gross at her. At least during the study it seemed consensual and they understood a little bit (maybe) of why it was happening. But he sighs and tries to let it go, she's right that he's not like this normally, appreciating the little squeeze to his hand.
So he continues to listen to her, knowing that she's really just trying to make him feel better about it all. But...he's not sure if she realizes the admission she just made. His face manages to stay neutral, but her dropping that on him is another thing he has to think about in addition to dealing with his own actions.
It's like his head is going into a buffer bar, spinning with nothing loading. He ate someone. He wanted to fuck Yoimiya. She wanted to, for a brief second, jump his bones too. Does she still want to? What did that encounter at the study for Patho-Gen really do to them? What in the world is his Natural Soul doing to him? He feels like his head is overloading and yet, not processing a single thing.]
No, no, please...there's no need for you to apologize. We just seem to be at the mercy of our Natural Souls, in some way.
[And that's how he's going to address that, for now. When he goes home he might delve into some seldom deep self-reflection on his part and he can just deal with all that later.]
Let's just keep a close eye on each other as we head back to The Valentia. I can't help but feel a little paranoid about the possibility of falling back into a deep sleep again.
[ Thankfully, for both of their sakes, Yoimiya is unaware of the admission she just made. All she can think about is comforting Tartaglia, not even thinking twice about her own questionable thoughts and desires. It's true she was prepared to shack it up with him had she not puked all over the place. Even now, the thought still sits in the back of her mind... but luckily, her worries for Tartaglia are at the forefront.
Goodness, what a mess. Guilt, shame, fear, paranoia... so many emotions are swirling through her head and making her feel as though she hears nothing but static around them. She'll continue to be riddled with guilt for the foreseeable future but she appreciates Tartaglia's reassurance. He's right, the Natural Souls are the most likely culprits for their wild emotions. ]
Actually, that aligns with what I want to ask you next.
[ Given everything that's happened, she's not sure if what she's about to ask is appropriate but that's the least of her concerns, especially when Tartaglia is scared to fall asleep. ]
Are you rooming with anyone? If not... will you be okay by yourself tonight?
[ Yoimiya doesn't quite say it out loud but, it's probably clear she's worried about leaving him all alone at the mercy of another nightmare. ]
[Childe immediately understands why she's asking. With no one watching him, who would stop him from going on another spree? It's a valid question, but he shakes his head at her in both a confirmation of being alone and that he's not too worried about it.]
No, I'm by myself in that small room. But, I figure if all I can manage is some instinctual actions and nothing else, then the insect inside of me probably doesn't know how to open doors.
[And he can keep himself locked in his room if need be.]
I don't believe this has happened to me until now, because if I were to escape while being trapped in a nightmare, there would be visible damage to my room. And no such thing has happened yet, so I'm confident once I can contain myself, nothing terrible will come of it. I'm more afraid of being out and about when it happens...I know it's happened to others as well, suddenly and without warning, like me.
[It's a real problem. Based on his own experiences with others who have also fallen asleep and taken by their nightmares, he wonders if he's not the only one to harm someone of Karteria. This is really bad...it might not matter if he tells Patho-Gen one way or another. They may do blanket experiments to them all if this is a widespread problem.]
I'm guessing this hasn't happened to you yet, has it?
[ He sounds confident enough, she has no reason to doubt him. If he believes he's capable of confining himself in a room, then problem solved... right? Try as she might, Yoimiya can't hide the look of concern on her face, she wants to believe him but at the same time, she just can't help but worry about him. "The insect inside of me probably doesn't know how to open doors", isn't exactly reassuring but she'll try not to press too much. ]
Not really, I've had a few nightmares that made me act out of character. I got so overly paranoid that I started yelling at someone but it never escalated past that and I was able to quickly bounce back to my usual self.
[ She didn't kill and eat someone, that's for sure. He is correct that it hits people suddenly and without warning, and if this becomes an issue for innocent civilians... ugh. A terrible thought crosses her mind, accompanied with a cold shiver darting down her spine. She doesn't want to think about the Patho-Gen might do to them to keep everyone controlled. ]
I've heard about other people being afflicted with the nightmares but... I think your case is the most extreme I've seen.
[ Because surely no one can top eating a whole person. Right? Right??? ]
[At least what Yoimiya has experienced pales in comparison to the terrible deed he just committed. He'll be glad for that, she doesn't need to go through the trauma of murdering someone...he's pretty sure that would weigh on her soul a lot harder than this is going to weigh on his, though Tartaglia is more than just disturbed by it. Imagine how she would take it. He doesn't want to think about that.
He lets out a small little heh at the fact that his is the most extreme case, and that's definitely a way to put it. Shoving his free hand in his pocket, he looks down at the ground, shoulders rising and falling heavily with a sigh.]
Let's hope I'm the only one.
[Childe is definitely far from the only person in the city with a shift that takes on a form of a predator of some sort. He's definitely, definitely going to the library, seeking out Palamedes, and doing some research on his own insect (and hopefully discovering what else he's combined with.)]
Don't fret too much for me, Yoimiya. I'll be fine.
[His pace slows so he can look at her when he says it, knowing she's probably worried, and he hates the idea of having her worry about him.]
[ To the stars above she sure hopes it doesn't happen again. It breaks her soul to think about Tartaglia suffering alone but at the same time, she doesn't wish for another innocent to lose their life. This situation is so unfair for everyone involved and her already uncertainty about the Patho-Gen only grows. ]
I can't make any promises. It's hard not to worry about someone I care about...
[ Despite that her face is full of worry, the one assurance is that she truly cares for her friend, from the bottom of her heart. Yoimiya is resolved in staying by his side, even if it puts her at risk. ]
If you need someone to keep an eye on you, I truly don't mind staying with you for the night.
[Telling her not to worry definitely didn't help. Yoimiya doesn't know him like his family does or even the Traveler...so that belief in him doesn't really exist. He gets it, he hasn't had the chance to prove himself to her and what just happened was a pretty big demerit on his record.]
It means a lot to know that you're worried. I'm honestly flattered.
[It's hard, but he cracks a smile at her to at least try to assuage her worries, though he's sure it won't help much.]
But, even if you may be the one person who isn't at risk, who knows what might happen if things get heated between us...
[The last thing he wants is to get in bed with her and wake up to that realization. That would be awful...]
Edited (english how it work idk?????) 2025-05-30 18:40 (UTC)
[ In a way, she's flattered to hear that she's the one person who isn't at risk of his Natural Soul going haywire. Still, her logical side is telling her to back off, that it would be wise not to put herself in harm's way. But... even so, Yoimiya just can't bring herself to leave his side, the thought of him suffering all alone, locked up in a room is gut wrenching. ]
I know... I know this will be a huge gamble for the both of us but I don't think I'll be able to sleep with the knowledge you're going through it on your own.
[ With their hands still joined, she gives him a gentle squeeze to affirm she's not scared of him. ]
But... if you're sure about this, I won't press you too much.
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Poor Tartaglia... she almost wishes she just kept her mouth shut. ]
... I know. I know you would never eat someone. I think the nightmares made you do it.
[ It's not much for comfort but she needs to convey her belief in him. Despite him being a Harbinger, Yoimiya knows Tartaglia would never kill an innocent, defenseless person. ]
I'm sorry... I wish I could tell you it's not true but, I saw it. I saw the whole thing. Your body shifted, I saw you use your claw-like hands to snatch him. And your face... [ That was easily the most horrifying part. ] you developed some kind of... um, beak and with that, you plunged it into his chest and...
[ The rest is history. ]
cw: emeto again lawl
It's a fact he can't deny. He'd seen what happened to some of the other Augmented within their own nightmares. Some of them woke up, just like he did, but really weren't themselves. But he hadn't heard of anyone killing or eating anyone, not yet. Not until now.
The color slowly drains from his face as she talks. He snatched him in his shifted form, did something with his beak and now he's gone. Eaten fresh right off the street, and something in his stomach lurches when he realizes that there's an entire human being in his own stomach.
Tartaglia's hand comes up to his face, feeling sicker than he ever has in his entire life, turning and voluntarily letting himself throw up everything in his stomach. He can't even look at what comes out, his eyes closed just so he doesn't have to look at it. After a moment, he coughs a few last times, turning away from his mess and waving his hand as he summons the strength just to use the powers of his vision to wash it away, cleansing the area of the smell just so he can breathe.
He has to take a moment, his hand on his chest as he deals with this reality.]
We need to go. I'm going to clean that blood splatter up and we're leaving. Okay?
shaking, crying, throwing up together.......
Water hitting the pavement is the first bit of respite she's had since her encounter with Tartaglia. Taking this as a sign it's safe to look, Yoimiya shifts her body to peer at him, thankful that he's washed away the residue with his powers. Never before has she been grateful to be in contact with someone blessed with a Hydro vision. ]
Y-yeah... we need to get out here.
[ At first it seems possible, but slowly, she manages to get off the ground, her legs still trembling. Despite it all, Tartaglia is the one going through it the most, he physically killed and ate someone, all she did was watch. She can't even begin to imagine the horror and disgust he's going through right now. Seeing him with his hand on his chest is like a knife being plunged into her, she feels so bad for him. ]
Please... if there's anything I can do to help, I'm here. You didn't mean for this to happen.
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Tartaglia stumbles forward once, before regaining his balance and using his Vision to wash the blood away, letting it run down the side of it into a gutter, just as he'd done with his own vomit. There wouldn't be anything in the whole world that could wash this vile taste out of his mouth, but now that he's finished, he gestures to Yoimiya to walk with him home as fast as their legs could carry them.]
...Thank you. To be honest, I really don't know what to do...
[All he knows is that he needs to leave, get away from the scene of the crime. Keeping his eyes forward, he quickly takes off down the alley, with Yoimiya in tow.]
Are you alright?
[He asks, knowing she probably isn't- but still, it's almost as bad having to watch it happen as it is doing the deed itself.]
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"To be honest, I really don't know what to do..." Can't blame him on that one. What can you do after killing and eating someone? It's impressive he hasn't had a full-blown breakdown yet. She looks to the ground with guilt eating away at her heart, deeply wishing there was more she could do for him. She's quiet for a few minutes until he asks her a question that... well, should have an obvious answer but she appreciates the sentiment nonetheless. ]
... Not really, but if I were a gambling person, I'd bet all the mora I have back home that you're doing worse.
[ There's no way anyone would be even remotely okay after having a whole person in your stomach. And for that, the guilt rooted deep inside her heart begins to twist, digging at her concious in a visceral way that makes her wonder if she could have done anything to prevent this. ]
I'm sorry, Tartaglia. I really don't think this is your fault. I should have done more to stop it...
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But what really puts a dagger through his heart is to hear Yoimiya blame herself for what happened. His eyebrows droop as his gaze falls over to her, not wanting her to feel any sort of guilt for what happened. It may not be his fault, but it's not hers either, and the last thing he wants is this.]
It's not your fault, [he states simply,] so don't blame yourself for my actions. Had you gotten involved, there's a chance that you would of ended up having to fight me in that state...and that's not something I would suggest many try to do.
[Childe isn't sure how he would react if his consciousness wasn't in control, but based off of what he was just told he did, there's no doubt he'd attack her. He doesn't know a whole lot about bugs, but he does know that mantises are predators in their own right. What if he hurt her, or worse, killed her too?]
I was the one who wasn't strong enough to regain control. I got trapped in that nightmare, and never knew what was happening in the real world. To think we could lose control so easily...
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...
It's probably best not to ponder the outcome. She tries to banish the thought from her mind. Especially since poor Tartaglia is still beating himself over it. She lifts her eyes from the ground, flickering her gaze right back at him. Seeing the man who is usually so confident be so down on himself hurts her heart feels like crumbling into dust.. ]
Hey...
[ Despite being shaken up, Yoimiya makes a move to step closer to his side, giving him a gentle nudge on the arm. It's not much, and she can't imagine he'll be okay for a long time, but she hopes he'll feel a little better knowing she isn't afraid of getting close to him. ]
Don't beat yourself too much over it, okay? We were thrust into a strange world unlike Teyvat. We've only been here a little over a month. If anyone expected you to have control in while being trapped inside a nightmare, they'd be the most unreasonable person on the planet.
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But when he thinks on it further, those instincts of his Natural Soul influence his conscious mind already. What will happen if they meld together into one? There's so much to consider, but he needs to focus at least on never falling to those dark dreams again, somehow...
The nudge to his arm brings him out of that thought, staring down silently at her. Yoimiya isn't wrong, but he's used to being able to master things quickly. To have such a huge setback to all his work so far is a little deflating, but he nods nonetheless anyway.]
Yeah, it was certainly something unforeseen on my part. Never could I of imagined that we were susceptible to a sudden sleep into a realm of nightmares as our Natural Souls ran amok in our bodies. I'd seen a few already succumb to it, but I had no idea how to combat it. And none were as violent as...
[His sentence cuts off, sighing and refusing to finish that thought.]
Anyway, surely the authorities and Patho-Gen will be looking for the one responsible for that man's disappearance. What are you planning to do? You were witness to it, after all.
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... It's a good thing he didn't finish that thought. She's seen how the Katalyth affects people and has even fallen victim to the nightmares as well. However, even with all the terrible visions plaguing her dreams, all of it pales in comparison to what happened with Tartaglia. Watching someone eat another individual is a whole new level of nightmarish, one she wouldn't wish on anyone.
For now, it's best not to think about it too much. Not just for her sake but for Tartaglia as well. As Yoimiya tries to flood her mind with happy thoughts, Tartaglia poses a question that honestly, never dawned on her. The whole scene was such a shock and the thought of reporting him to the authorities hadn't occurred to her. It's... a lot to take in. There's a brief moment of silence between them but it's not long until she speaks up. ]
I won't tell a soul. You have my word on that.
[ Her answer is stalwart, unbreakable, and unwilling to bend to anyone. Like the pyro vision that resonates with her soul, Yoimiya's eyes burn with an everlasting flame that refuses to die. She's not sure if this is what Tartaglia wants but even so, she won't be the one snitching on him. Sure, this might get her in trouble too but she's never been above breaking the law if it means protecting someone. ]
You're my friend and I'm not gonna rat you out for something out of your control. This never would have happened if the Patho-Gen hadn't summoned us here. I understand the authorities and Patho-Gen want what's best for the people of this world but... I also know I shouldn't fully trust them considering they dragged us here against our will. There's no telling what they're capable of and I can't bear to think about what they might do to you.
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He expected her to go to the authorities. Most people, he assumes, would probably turn him in if he didn't go himself. Understandably, it wouldn't sit well with others to see that someone got eaten right in front of them. But, he supposes, the fact that she's stuck to his side despite seeing that unspeakable horror speaks volumes about Yoimiya's values. Tartaglia has to almost laugh at himself for thinking she'd turn him in, caught up in his own act of terror to realize that she would stay loyal to him in this terrible time.
In fact, he does manage the smallest smile and a tiny laugh from it, his eyes softening for a moment.]
A fact we can never forget. Knowing that one of their experiments lost control and hurt a citizen of Karteria would look bad on them. And I have no idea what they'd do to me either...it would be safer just to kill me and ensure it never happens again.
[At least, that's what the Fatui would do. So he'll assume the worst unless they prove otherwise.]
...Thanks, Yoimiya.
[Letting a heavy sigh out, at least he can be relieved that he won't get ratted out.]
I really owe you one.
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She'll stand by Tartaglia's side through thick and thin. Till her dying breath, she'll make sure no one finds out about what happened. ]
You don't owe me anything, silly. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't have your back?
[ None of this was his fault and she'll firmly remain in that camp no matter what. Yoimiya has never been one to turn her back on her friends and in this trying time, Tartaglia is going to need all the support he can get. She raises her hand, brings it behind him, and gently runs her fingers up and down his back to soothe any lingering worries he might have. ]
Besides, I have a feeling you wouldn't let harm come my way either. And if it's any consolation, even when you lost control, you didn't try to attack me.
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I'm glad to hear that, [he says with a sigh of relief.] I wouldn't of forgiven myself if any harm had come to you.
[Attacking his friends like that, it's not something he would do. He'd love to spar against them any time of the week, but to viciously go after them like they were his next meal...]
Perhaps I recognized you, even in that state of mind? What happened after I...
[Not going to finish that sentence again. Doing his best not to think on it too much right now.]
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Well um, I'm not even sure I can put what happened afterwards into words.
[ Thinking back on the aftermath, he suddenly recognized her and performed a strange move. Was it a dance? Some kind of sidestep? ]
You started moving strangely. It was like... a dance? You were swaying from side to side like you were trying to get my attention. Then you let out a familiar scent...
[ a beat. Oh. Ooooooh. Everything is starting to click. Oh Archons, should she even tell him? ]
It was that same smell from the study.
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Tartaglia himself likes to dance, he knows how and he's pretty good at it. But what she describes makes no sense, including letting out a scent. He can't smell his own pheromones, let alone realize when he's secreting them when his more feral side presents itself. So to hear that he's done it twice baffles him.]
I...what? A scent? Sorry Yoimiya, but I don't really use cologne unless it's a special occasion.
[Man has no idea that bugs do this, or how bugs and pheromones work at all.]
Are you trying to say that...?
[Was his bug self trying to hit on her? Childe goes deathly silent once he realizes that that's probably what was happening. His Natural Soul recognized the female he'd tried mating with previously and did its best to do it again before it got ruined...]
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Yeah... that's correct. It was like back at the study when we nearly...
[ She pauses, feeling like she doesn't need to finish the rest of the sentence. ]
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The bonding experience of imprinting isn't even saving him from feeling shame in his actions. It was weird the first time at the study, but to know that he did it again is just...strange? Vulgar? He can't decide.]
Well, this is a little awkward, isn't it...
[What do you even say to that? Sorry? Why is his feral self like this? Maybe it's time to do a little digging on his shifted form and what a mantis does, or something.]
That's...inappropriate of me, the last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable. Yoimiya, please accept my apology...
[The apologetic look he gives her is unmistakable. He feels bad about it, he was raised better than that. It's clear he finds it gross that he acted like that even if he wasn't the one in control, and can't believe he managed to do not one, but two things that are absolutely repulsive.]
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This shifting thing is getting complicated very fast. Tartaglia isn't the only one with a sudden change in mood. Despite that she watched a man literally get eaten alive, she still would have been willing to drop everything to mate with him, and that thought alone is enough to terrify her. She doesn't want to think about what might happen if she truly loses control of herself and her desires. ]
Hey, like I said, there's no need for you to apologize. This really isn't your fault, Tartalgia. I know you're normally not like this.
[ Her small hand gives him a gentle squeeze in a bid for reassurance. It breaks her heart to see him feel terrible over an issue that he can't control, she truly doesn't believe any of this to be his fault at all. ]
Besides, it wasn't just you. Even after... [ a beat ] what happened, I still felt that desire to... [ Archons, help. She's lost count at the number of pauses. ] well, y'know. You're not making me uncomfortable at all. Something about your scent just keeps pulling me toward you. So, I'm sorry as well.
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So he continues to listen to her, knowing that she's really just trying to make him feel better about it all. But...he's not sure if she realizes the admission she just made. His face manages to stay neutral, but her dropping that on him is another thing he has to think about in addition to dealing with his own actions.
It's like his head is going into a buffer bar, spinning with nothing loading. He ate someone. He wanted to fuck Yoimiya. She wanted to, for a brief second, jump his bones too. Does she still want to? What did that encounter at the study for Patho-Gen really do to them? What in the world is his Natural Soul doing to him? He feels like his head is overloading and yet, not processing a single thing.]
No, no, please...there's no need for you to apologize. We just seem to be at the mercy of our Natural Souls, in some way.
[And that's how he's going to address that, for now. When he goes home he might delve into some seldom deep self-reflection on his part and he can just deal with all that later.]
Let's just keep a close eye on each other as we head back to The Valentia. I can't help but feel a little paranoid about the possibility of falling back into a deep sleep again.
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Goodness, what a mess. Guilt, shame, fear, paranoia... so many emotions are swirling through her head and making her feel as though she hears nothing but static around them. She'll continue to be riddled with guilt for the foreseeable future but she appreciates Tartaglia's reassurance. He's right, the Natural Souls are the most likely culprits for their wild emotions. ]
Actually, that aligns with what I want to ask you next.
[ Given everything that's happened, she's not sure if what she's about to ask is appropriate but that's the least of her concerns, especially when Tartaglia is scared to fall asleep. ]
Are you rooming with anyone? If not... will you be okay by yourself tonight?
[ Yoimiya doesn't quite say it out loud but, it's probably clear she's worried about leaving him all alone at the mercy of another nightmare. ]
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No, I'm by myself in that small room. But, I figure if all I can manage is some instinctual actions and nothing else, then the insect inside of me probably doesn't know how to open doors.
[And he can keep himself locked in his room if need be.]
I don't believe this has happened to me until now, because if I were to escape while being trapped in a nightmare, there would be visible damage to my room. And no such thing has happened yet, so I'm confident once I can contain myself, nothing terrible will come of it. I'm more afraid of being out and about when it happens...I know it's happened to others as well, suddenly and without warning, like me.
[It's a real problem. Based on his own experiences with others who have also fallen asleep and taken by their nightmares, he wonders if he's not the only one to harm someone of Karteria. This is really bad...it might not matter if he tells Patho-Gen one way or another. They may do blanket experiments to them all if this is a widespread problem.]
I'm guessing this hasn't happened to you yet, has it?
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Not really, I've had a few nightmares that made me act out of character. I got so overly paranoid that I started yelling at someone but it never escalated past that and I was able to quickly bounce back to my usual self.
[ She didn't kill and eat someone, that's for sure. He is correct that it hits people suddenly and without warning, and if this becomes an issue for innocent civilians... ugh. A terrible thought crosses her mind, accompanied with a cold shiver darting down her spine. She doesn't want to think about the Patho-Gen might do to them to keep everyone controlled. ]
I've heard about other people being afflicted with the nightmares but... I think your case is the most extreme I've seen.
[ Because surely no one can top eating a whole person. Right? Right??? ]
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He lets out a small little heh at the fact that his is the most extreme case, and that's definitely a way to put it. Shoving his free hand in his pocket, he looks down at the ground, shoulders rising and falling heavily with a sigh.]
Let's hope I'm the only one.
[Childe is definitely far from the only person in the city with a shift that takes on a form of a predator of some sort. He's definitely, definitely going to the library, seeking out Palamedes, and doing some research on his own insect (and hopefully discovering what else he's combined with.)]
Don't fret too much for me, Yoimiya. I'll be fine.
[His pace slows so he can look at her when he says it, knowing she's probably worried, and he hates the idea of having her worry about him.]
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I can't make any promises. It's hard not to worry about someone I care about...
[ Despite that her face is full of worry, the one assurance
is that she truly cares for her friend, from the bottom of her heart. Yoimiya is resolved in staying by his side, even if it puts her at risk. ]
If you need someone to keep an eye on you, I truly don't mind staying with you for the night.
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It means a lot to know that you're worried. I'm honestly flattered.
[It's hard, but he cracks a smile at her to at least try to assuage her worries, though he's sure it won't help much.]
But, even if you may be the one person who isn't at risk, who knows what might happen if things get heated between us...
[The last thing he wants is to get in bed with her and wake up to that realization. That would be awful...]
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I know... I know this will be a huge gamble for the both of us but I don't think I'll be able to sleep with the knowledge you're going through it on your own.
[ With their hands still joined, she gives him a gentle squeeze to affirm she's not scared of him. ]
But... if you're sure about this, I won't press you too much.
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